"What is wrong with you?" she demanded.
Still groggy from sleep, I replied with a very confused, "Huh?"
"Everyday I've been checking to see what's new on your blog. I know about your surgery, but what about everyday? How's this pregnancy been?" She chuckled and I laughed sheepishly.
She was right.
I decided in my head that after a few errands and getting some food ready for my husband and his friends for the NFL playoff games I would commit to sitting down and blogging this experience thus far.
Needless to say, J and I have been living on sweet Cloud Nine again. Like the last pregnancy {and perhaps more so during this pregnancy, especially with what we had been through}, I often wake to J bending down on me as he stands above my side of the bed, reaching around my enormous pregnancy pillow to give me a hug and a kiss before rubbing the belly to wish us both good morning. The man has been a pillar of patience, humoring me when I request a spontaneous trip to baby stores just to peruse the aisles for things we may want or need for our little one.
What frustrates J is, just like the previous pregnancy, my lack of appetite. Last time, at the end of the first trimester, I had lost 13 pounds. This time, at fifteen weeks, I have lost 9. It's not because I get sick or vomit, but because for some reason, I just do not have much of an appetite. After eating what is only a fraction of what would have been a full meal for me pre-pregnancy, I immediately feel stuffed and know that if another bite hits my lips I could {and probably very well would} get sick, so I stop. I know J is just concerned with the baby getting enough food, so I have made sure to stock up on several flavors of Naked Juice and Perricone Farms juice {any kind that has no bananas. I hate bananas} just to ensure that the baby is getting enough nutrients. Additionally, I've noticed that my appetite has become one of two things: (1) I eat a fraction of a small meal, get full, and stop. Two hours later, I am completely famished. Repeat. (2) I am able to eat a full meal and then not want to eat for 11 to 12 (or more) hours thereafter. As it happened earlier this week, I went to lunch with girlfriends at noon, finished my meal, and did not eat a thing until about 10:00 a.m. the next day. It's a frustrating cycle and very tricky business trying to figure out which version of my appetite I will have for the day.
Outside of my crazy appetite schedule, I have had many cravings, but none significantly any more than others. A few weeks ago, I started craving Bloody Marys. With vodka obviously off my "ok-to-eat" list, I opt for Virgin Marys, which I happily enjoy. I also have been eating a lot of salads for lunch, particularly Cobb or Wedge salads. The most constant of my cravings seems to be a slice of plain cheese pizza from Costco. Yesterday, while driving to our favorite Peruvian restaurant for lunch, I made a game time decision and asked J to drive to Costco instead, so I can have my slice of pizza. I had to wait a few minutes, not only because of the Saturday afternoon lines, but because they ran out of cheese pizza and had to make a fresh pie. The wait turned out to be well worth it when I received my fresh-out-of-the-oven slice of the gooey stuff. I was in heaven. My water intake has increased from meager to almost-drowning myself. J finally had to buy us one of those huge Sparkletts water dispensers, as I was chugging so many water bottles down per day. Recently, we also discovered Talenti Gelato, and we have been stocking up on the pricey pints in our freezer. All the flavors we've tried are amazing, but I seem to be stuck on their Tahitian Vanilla Bean and their Mediterranean Mint. It's all natural, all organic, and go-downstairs-in-the-middle-of-the-night-for-a-spoonful-or-two good.
My love for sleep, thankfully, is well fulfilled these days. At the end of 2011, I was able to quit my job as J and I had planned, and be a stay at home wife, so that we could just focus on the pregnancy. My job was wonderful and my bosses and co-workers are like family, but that does not take away the fact that it is a job -- there are certain stresses that come with working and dealing with people and phone calls and deadlines that one does not have when staying home. While I do miss the company and making money, I am incredibly thankful to be able to sleep in as late as I would like to {which is until about 8:00 or 9:00 a.m.} and nap when I want to. During this pregnancy, I have noticed that I am more tired than sick {the opposite of last pregnancy}, so it is an even bigger blessing to be able to get the rest my body, evidently, so desperately craves. Sometimes, however, my mid-afternoon nap lasts longer than planned {I plan for an hour, but end up sleeping for two hours} and I find myself awake past 1:00 a.m., during which time I am completely starving, but at that point, am too lazy to go downstairs to eat something.
Before I quit my job, I had this secret fear that I would get bored being home all day by myself. Luckily, I have been lucky to have J be able to stay home with me on a couple of days as he has been required to do conference calls for work, calls that he cannot take while commuting to or from the office. On those days, although I don't really see him much as he is busy in the {home} office and I am normally laying in bed watching TV or cleaning around the house, it's still nice to have him around. We can still have lunch together and spend precious time together that we would normally lose, especially with his trafficky commutes to and from LA. On days when he isn't home with me, I've been able to slowly go through the list of things I've made for myself prior to quitting my job -- projects and things around the house that had needed to be addressed, such as reorganizing the office, cleaning out the guest room closet, learning more about my wonderful Silhouette machine, making sure that I was on top of getting all our laundry done {something we were both notorious for letting go, sometimes for weeks, when I was working}. I am proud that even if I'm not bringing home income, I am still able to make use of myself, still able to earn my keep, so to speak. Of course, J resents the term "earn [my] keep" but I feel that spouses should be able to contribute something to making their home a home. I would never want J to come home from a day at the office to find me still in our unmade bed, with mounds of laundry waiting to be done, with dinner not done or in the process of being made. We are partners in making this life together and I am just doing my part.
Overall, we are both so thankful for the place we are in now. Almost 11 months ago, we were in the darkest time of our lives, and now, we are looking forward to our brightest days to come.
1 comments:
Praising God for where you're at today! xoxo
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Thank you for leaving me some love!