Catching Up

I have told myself practically every other day since Camden was born that I need to write a blog post. Every week, I have made a promise to myself to do so, and every week, I have failed. Obviously, it isn't because I don't want to write about her, or share my experiences as a first time mom, but in my precious few moments of alone time, I either sleep or {yes, I admit it} scour the Internet for ideas for her: Christmas presents, questions that I have about parenting, and yes, ideas for her 1st birthday party that I have been planning since I was 7 months pregnant with her. 

Such is the life of a first time mom. 

And then I came across an article today that reminded me of something. Despite filling my iPhone to beyond capacity with pictures of her and even my 365 Days of Camden series on both Facebook and Instagram (#365daysofcamden), I have been doing her a bit of disservice because I haven't actually been writing about the little stories everyday, the little nuances and quirks about her that we've discovered, and the funny little anecdotes that shaped our days in the past 14 weeks of her life. I realized, too, that I found it hard to post more because unlike the writing during my baby belly picture project or the daily requirement of my #365DaysOfCamden picture project, regular posts here and there don't require the same commitment or accountability. People knew that every Monday during my pregnancy, I had a post. People know that everyday, there is a new photo on Instagram and Facebook. I have to hold myself responsible, if not for myself, for Cam. 

Hence the birth of my new monthly series {yet to be named}. I want to document Cam's growth and progress and her personality development and what better way than the blog?

Being that I am already three months behind, here are some highlights from the past 3 months:

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MONTH 1 RECAP

Welcome Cam! We got home 2 days after she was born. She spent her second day at home celebrating Daddy's birthday. 

We also spent a lot of time watching the Olympics and having visitors. We were able to take her out for some visits to Mommy's old office and to see family friends.

At 10 days old, she had her first photo shoot. She had her newborn photos taken by Mommy's friend, Stephanie of Stephanie Nelson Photography.

Camden was able to go on her first long{er} drive, up to Lancaster to see Daddy's side of the family.

Cam also started to smile on request. Mommy started a routine of talking to her every morning and it never failed to make her smile.

Before we knew it, her first month was done!

We started to hit a little bit of colic at 6 weeks. It really only lasted about a week, and in retrospect, it wasn't that bad; however, in the midst of it, I was a delirious and exhausted mamma. I lost sleep trying to figure out how to make our child happy again and there were many times I cried right along with her because I felt bad for her. Still, being the ever pragmatic people J and I are, we fought colic head on. Although I was breastfeeding, we bought several different kinds of formula in one day, all of which were the ones that targeted fussiness, gas, and colic, on top of making sure they were the gentle or soy formulas. We didn't stick with it. Actually, we never even began. We stuck with breastfeeding, and instead, I went on a no dairy diet. I wanted to make sure that she didn't have a lactose intolerance. No dairy didn't make a difference {thank goodness}. We tried long drives, gripe water {greatest stuff EV.ER.}, Hyland's colic tabs, chamomile tea, gas drops, swaddling, long walks in the Baby Bjorn, rocking, shushing, white noise {we downloaded a running water noise that worked like magic}, showers, a warm compress on her belly, and pretty much any and all home remedies that were recommended to us. Sure enough, within about a week or so, we drove the colic out {knock on wood. She's only almost 4 months old now. Not out of the woods yet}.

At 7 weeks, Cam was baptized. It was very important to both J and me that she get baptized right away. Being Filipino, it was a tradition to not even allow the baby to leave the house before she is baptized. Of course, I broke that rule several times, but pre-baptism, we were definitely much more limited in our outings with her. 

Cam was baptized at the Mission Basilica in San Juan Capistrano, the same church where J and I got married.

It was also during her second month that she went to her first baby shower {my friend Erin's baby shower for Max}, met Olympic gold medalist {and if you ask my brother, his future wife} Kyla Ross, battled with constipation for the first time, had her first immunization shots {she cried, I cried . . . it was very sad}, and had her first long road trip to Las Vegas!

When Cam was 10 weeks old, we started her on swimming lessons. This little girl is quite a mermaid. She LOVES the water and did so well! 

She also had her first visits to the Pumpkin Patch. We took her for her first visit on a Wednesday late afternoon. This has been a warm October so we wanted to wait until the cooler part of the afternoon to take her. The poor child melted down so badly. I think she didn't quite understand the puffy costume and why she was being laid down in a pile of big, hard, orange pumpkins.

Needless to say, we quickly changed her out of her costume and took advantage of the precious few tearless moments to take our family picture.

A few days later, we bravely visited the pumpkin patch again, this time with our dear friends. This visit turned out to be more successful {and I think we were more prepared}. We worked quickly, taking pictures of her while she was calm, and immediately after, we changed her into regular clothes -- and avoided a huge meltdown! Hooray for us!

I'll take indignant over crying any day!

It was also during her second month that she had her first laugh. It wasn't long, but we definitely worked our way up to it and boy, was it the sweetest sound! This month, she has also really worked at holding her head up more and swatting at toys. She has taken a special attachment to her Sophie la Giraffe. We never leave home without Sophie anymore!

We are now caught up! The next post will be on her 4 month birthday!

In Between Fussy Time

I promise I didn't get lost at Hobby Lobby. {although I easily could}
And I didn't fall asleep from such sheer exhaustion and woke up forgetting that I had a blog. {although I could see this happening}

The explanation for this absence is simple: I have been so enamored by this little girl that I have decidedly taken another hiatus from blogging. You moms understand, right?

A lot has happened since the last time I posted. Aside from the slew of almost daily visitors who have taken their turns to see Camden, we had her baptism, fought head-on with colic {our solution: an aggressive combination of gripe water + organic chamomile tea + colic tabs, if needed}, and are now getting ready celebrate two months of our sweet little pea.

It's fairly simple and idyllic. Our family of three has made it this far on an erratic schedule dictated by our now almost 12 pound girl, and so far, it works. Despite my need to systemize everything, I have learned more and more as the days go by that life, especially that with an infant, isn't always black and white, and there aren't enough Excel spreadsheets or cutely framed Pinterest chore lists to dictate my day. I am at the sheer whim and mercy of a seven-and-a-half week old. And yet, I'm okay with all this. 

If I hadn't said it before, I say it again now: If there is anything I've learned from this, from my pregnancy with Aubrey & Finley to losing them, to getting through our darkest days waiting to get pregnant again, my second pregnancy, and now having an infant, it is that we cannot control everything. And for the first time in my life, I'm actually okay with that.

Two Weeks of Camden Hope

Annnnnnd, I'm back.

This was all done according to plan, I assure you. Outside of the actual date I went into labor, I had this all mapped out in my head. I knew that as soon as Camden was born, I would allot myself a full two weeks from putting up a longer blog post.

So here I am.

Needless to say, these past two weeks have been nothing short of a whirlwind. One minute, I was sitting on a yoga ball, trying to induce labor, and the next, J and I were alternating getting up in the middle of the night to feed and change this perfect little infant. 

These past two weeks have been spent mostly inside the house, the daytime downstairs in the family room, which has now been taken over by baby stuff, and at night, we exhaustedly make our way back upstairs to prepare for the long overnight haul of feedings and changings. We have had a few outings, mostly to run an errand or two, just to try running around with a baby in tow, but generally, we have kept to ourselves and kept ourselves on house arrest.

We have also spent much of this time doing what any new parents do: taking naps when we can and taking an exorbitant number of pictures of this little girl we are so lucky to call ours. 

I admit that there have been times when I have felt lonely and a little lost. I'm sure that every new mother has felt this at one point or another. Suddenly, J and I went from this easygoing life of taking off whenever and wherever we wanted to being almost prisoners in our home. Our schedule and calendars, which were so precisely synched {thanks to our Google calendars}, were suddenly hijacked and turned into this erratic and unpredictable series of events. For someone who relies so heavily on a perfect schedule, this transition has been difficult and at times, felt isolating. My world and my home were turned upside down.

Anything and everything I have been told about parenthood is true, and then some. The difficulty, the challenges, the rules made and broken, and most of all, the rewards. I still look at my little girl several times a day in wonder and awe. 

Of all the things I have learned thus far, however, it is this: being a mother is the most wonderful and rewarding thing I have ever signed up for. In Camden's face, I see all the happiness, all the hope, and all the promise of our future. She is the perfect storm -- everything we have been through, both bad and good, has come to fruition in this perfect little creature. I wouldn't trade my sleepless nights {or days} for anything in the world.

She's Here!! Welcome Sweet Camden Hope

There she is.

My little vision of heaven.

J and I are so pleased to introduce you to our sweet girl, Camden Hope, born on Saturday, July 7, 2012 at 2:08 a.m. She was 7 pounds, 3 ounces, and 21 inches of perfection at birth. We are so enchanted by our little girl.

More to come soon...

38 Weeks

Yes, for goodness sake, I am hoping that this will be the last belly picture of this pregnancy we will have to take! 

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and I would say that I've been pretty good during this pregnancy as far as not whining about the aches and pains . . . But at this point, I'm ready to contact the Pregnancy Complaint Department {who do we call about these things?}. I'm achy everywhere. My hips hurt, my pelvis is sore, "down there" feels like it's going to explode so bad that putting on pajama pants {or any bottoms for that matter} feels like I'm going to tear a muscle {ahem, THE muscle} each time. 

Yesterday, during my now-weekly appointment, Dr. Moore told us that my cervix is now 100% effaced and paper thin, and I'm 3 centimeters dilated {Last week, I was about 90% effaced and 2-3 centimeters dilated}. Yes, it was progress, but not enough progress for my pregnant, waddling ass. I mentioned to him that I've been feeling TONS of pressure and sharp pains "down there" and he said that's a good sign that things are progressing well. My belly is measuring at 37 centimeters from top to bottom, indicating that this little one is going to be between 6 1/2 to 7 1/2 pounds at birth.

My next appointment is not until next Thursday, a whopping 10 days after yesterday's appointment, and to me, they may as well have scheduled it for next January. Dr. Moore said that between yesterday and next week, I have a 25-30% chance of going into labor. {I mean, really, where do they get these numbers?} He did give me the option yesterday of stripping the membranes, a process that is said to {more} naturally induce labor. Stripping the membranes involves manually separating the amniotic sac from the uterus so the body would produce oxytocin, the hormone that causes the uterus to contract. I've read mixed reviews online about it -- some say it worked for them immediately, and some said that they experienced cramping for 2 days until labor started. Granted, most, if not all, of those women were not effaced as much or dilated as much as I am now, but at any rate, Dr. Moore, though he was willing to do so yesterday, did recommend that we wait until I am at least 39 weeks to do so.

We left the appointment yesterday with mixed emotions. Although J and I were both excited to hear that there was at least some progress, I, for one, Ms. Go-Go-Go herself, was not satisfied at the amount of the progress that had occurred. With my waddle and the pain getting worse everyday, I was really hoping Dr. Moore would tell me to hop back into the car and drive to Labor and Delivery ASAP. I was so messed up that I found J trying to look up YouTube videos under the search "grouchy pregnant women".

Of course, because God hears everything that I have been complaining about in my head, I am constantly reminded of where I am and how far we've come.

{source}

I know that Camden's arrival is a mere days away. DAYS. It's easy to forget that a year ago at this time, J and I were running amok trying to keep ourselves busy, trying to distract ourselves from the loss we had just experienced, the biggest loss of our lives. And now, here we are, a mere days, if not hours away from the biggest blessing we could imagine.

It's easy to complain; it's easy to be impatient; and it's the easiest to be angry, but in the end, what I know has yielded the best results is trust and faith in God and His timing. 

While I dream and hope and wish of going into labor tonight or tomorrow and being able to whisper into Camden's ear that the fireworks we see out the window tomorrow are all for her, I am also putting my hands together and lifting my eyes to heaven in prayers of thanks and gratitude. I know that whatever these next few hours or days hold will be nothing compared to finally getting to hold our little girl in our arms.

{{ In the meantime, help keep me entertained and share your guesses on her arrival! Visit THIS POST to cast your vote! }}