One Constant: Lessons From My Mother

So far in my life, I can honestly say that I have developed and nurtured many relationships.
I have given my heart, had it broken, and have been blessed enough to have had people help me heal it.


In all those times, I feel that I can wholeheartedly say that there has been one person who has been there, 
who has tirelessly stuck with me,
who, even in some of my darkest hours, when I fought like heck to keep her away, still rescued me, and held me, and told me everything is going to be okay. {here come the tears.}


I'll be the first to admit that I fought it for years.
"I will NOT be like my mother," I told myself.
I will not NOT allow my kids to eat in their rooms.
I will not rinse out Chinese takeout boxes before throwing them out into the trash.
I will not be neurotic and keep wiping down the kitchen and bathroom counters.
I will not stand in my own daughter's way, and let her wear however short she wants to wear her shorts.
I will be better.
I wil be aware.
I will not be HER.


{ circa 1984 }


And here I am, in the not-so-ripe age of . . . close to 30,
and I am admitting it now:
My mother was right.
I knew it when I found crumbs in my bed and got irritated.
I knew it when I walked into the house and smelled the rancid takeout boxes from the trash.
I knew it when I picked up the bottle of 409 and paper towels and wiped grease off my kitchen counters.
I knew it when I was disgusted when I saw 14 years olds at the mall in Daisy Dukes and skimpy tops.
I knew it in so many ways, and find out more everyday.
And even worse, I know that I am just like my mother in more ways than I am willing to admit.


{ Solvang, CA 2007 }


But as we all grow up, it becomes less and less about who is right or wrong, and becomes more about becoming the person you want to be.
I have learned volumes of this from Mom.
Growing up, she instilled so many lessons within me and my brothers, and we should only be so lucky and smart to fully understand and appreciate it all.



{ My bridal shower: The Peninsula Hotel, Beverly Hills, CA ~ April 25, 2010 }


As I have gotten older, I've seen firsthand the lessons that she has taught us,


Of courage = moving to the United States as a single mother immediately after my dad's and her separation / divorce;


{ Six Flags Magic Mountain, 1994 }


Of perseverance = a college and master's graduate working 3 jobs when we lived in New York in order to not disrupt my private school education from when we lived in the Philippines and send me to a very expensive private school in NY;


Of sacrifice = I am sure that my mom passed on simple pleasures in order to provide for me. 


{ My Wedding Day ~ May 22, 2010 }


Of pure, unconditional love = Without going into any further detail, she fought with me and for me in some of my darkest times, and never stopped believing in me and what I can do.


We never really get enough chances to recognize our moms
and what they do for us,
and I wanted to make it a point to let my mom know that
it doesn't have to be her birthday
or mother's day
{or a Nordstrom sale weekend}
but my mom is loved and appreciated
and is above and beyond the person I can ever hope to be.



5 comments:

Ruby Agustin said...

This is so heartwarming and just made me cry all the way!! Thank you, my honeybee!!
In my tombstone, I want it said that I lived for my 3 kids.
( I apologize in advance to a couple of people - and they know exactly who they are. Sorry - but even they know it!). I'm your mom and I will always love you!

Char said...

This is an awesome tribute to your mom Angela. I'm sure she's so proud of you!
Char
The Epic Adventures of a Modern Mom
http://1epicmom.com

kenmei said...

Hi, I'm your newest follower from the Sunday Funday Hop! You can visit me back at
http://moderngirllife.blogspot.com/

C- you Next Week,

mmbear said...

Very beautiful dress on both of you and I am happy for you to still have your mom and realize she is a treasure. I lost mine too early and nothing ever takes away that sadness. I am a new follower thru GFC and would have loved to follow on FB but they said I was spamming last weekend on a FB blog hop only and suspended my FB for 15 days (5 left to go). All I was doing was "liking" people and asking them to follow me back. Wow, of all the things to police! We have criminals out there and they are picking on bloggers who are just trying to connect and form friendships! What is wrong with this picture? Tried to appeal but they don't even have the decency to answer my emails. I will leave the decision of following me on FB up to you. Those who are following now I have a list to catch up with them next weekend or if you would rather wait til I follow you first, that is okay also. I try to be as easy as possible. Thanks for your help and have a great week!

Mary@http://www.mmbearcupoftea.com

MsXpat said...

Lovely entry. Mommy is always right ;0)

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