A Bird Nest Theme Baby Shower

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I'll be the first to admit it: I'm not an easy person to work with. I am the girl who, two weeks before my wedding, {then one week before my wedding, then three days before my wedding} sent not one, not two, but THREE separate spreadsheets to all involved with the occasion -- contact sheets, itineraries, job assignments. Wanting to reassure that I did not leave a stone unturned, not one item uncovered, I swallowed any pride I had and sent them to our {not surprisingly} shocked wedding party and vendors. My husband's groomsmen, in particular, upon receipt of said spreadsheets I'm sure had looks on their faces that all resembled three letters: W. T. F. -- all with the same pausing, dramatic shock. In the end, however, I did get my way -- everyone was aware of their duties on the big day, and {I'm guessing, probably in fear of a Bridezilla blowup} ensured that their duties were met. In short, our day went without a hitch. Best party ever, we were told several times. Trust, people. Trust.

Suffice it to say, it was difficult for me to be uninvolved with my baby shower. Headed by my dear friend Amy, I tried my best to stay away from the general planning and decision making, although I did my part in crafting various items used in the party itself. I did, however, help my mom with the menu {Mom was in charge of the food}, but stayed away from any games planned by my friends, Molly & Kristen. On the day itself, I was not allowed to come to the venue until the actual time stated on the invitation. When you see these Pinterest-worthy pictures, you will see the moral of this story: as much as it is rewarding to be a control freak, there is a much bigger reward in also letting people do things for you. Although I knew much of how things were being put together, the little elements of surprise and the details of how it was all put together took my breath away. 

Before anything else, I should admit it: Okay, okay, I did do a lot of crafting for the shower. In fact, our living room looked like a baby shower warehouse before the party, as the items I made accumulated in one corner. In my defense, I have to say that I did it all because {a} Amy works full time and has a 5 year old daughter and I am home all day with a lot of time on my hands and {b} we all know how obsessed with crafting I am. 

I told you it was jam packed! I'm sure, though, that although the hostesses did not want me to help out, they knew that allowing me to craft my little heart away would get me out of the way enough for the real planning to be left to them. Tip #1: Find ways to distract Mom-zilla. -- It worked.

Amy ran the invitations by me before she ordered them. She did so because the nest on the front had 3 eggs in it -- she wanted to incorporate our Aubrey & Finley in a subtle way with their sister's baby shower. Throughout the bird nest themed shower, she incorporated three eggs in the nests to bring in Camden's two sisters whose shower never came. It was a sweet and touching tribute to them. I loved the subtlety of it all -- like a wink in the eye -- a secret we all knew and smiled silently about. 

The details:

 The favors: Pink vanilla-infused sugar

 To welcome the guests to our bird nest theme baby shower, Amy surprised me with an oil painting of a bird nest with the three eggs {ordered from Etsy} to display at the entrance to the clubhouse. This painting is HUGE and we are planning on putting it outside our house on the day that we go to the hospital, as a way to announce that our little egg is about to hatch.

Shortbread cookies with chocolate-coconut nests and chocolate eggs on top. I made these mini pedestals / cupcake stands last year for what would have been Aubrey & Finley's shower and J painted them white to use for Camden's.

 The setup: Six tables of seven to eight seats each to accommodate approximately 45 guests. Each table was draped with a white tablecloth with burlap table runners that I made. They also hung white paper lanterns from the existing chandeliers in the clubhouse.

 Another surprise from Amy: She had each guest fill out these wish cards for Cam. It was wonderful, sweet, and funny to be able to read them with J at the end of the day. 

We chose pink and gray for our birdhouses and bird nests to reflect Camden's pink and gray nursery. They also used a vintage window given to me by a friend and I used my Silhouette Cameo machine to make the doily banners, which were used in various areas throughout the space. The rest of the backdrops are foam core boards covered in muslin linen to create a neutral backdrop. Amy also bought and sprayed vintage picture frames to add more touches of pink and gray to the spread.

 The coffee station was Olivia's {Amy's daughter's} bookshelf from her bedroom. I ordered the coffee cups and sleeves online and used baker's twine to put on the bird nest stamped labels onto the sleeves. I also made the flags for the coffee stirrers that said Camden's Cafe.

The beverage station: Four beverages were lemon water, peach iced tea, strawberry basil lemonade, and "Hope Floats" -- a play on Camden's middle name -- which was a raspberry sorbet float. I was later told that the strawberry lemonade was the biggest seller. Ice cubes for the beverages were made in muffin tins days before the shower so that they were bigger and we were able to put either slices of lemon {for the water} or slices of strawberry and basil leaves {for the lemonade} and the ice lasted longer. The drinking glasses were not-exactly-mason jars that J ordered from a glass bottle company in LA. We affixed a cotton lace sleeve on each with a bird tag cut from my Silhouette. Gray and white paper straws were ordered and added for extra effect.

The centerpieces were simply 5 mason jars filled with white flowers that my mom purchased. It was simple, rustic, and sweet, while still making a beautiful statement at each table.

The food:

Everything was mini and adorable! Each food item was renamed with a bird theme. Mini muffins were called Puffin Muffins, Caprese sandwiches were Nestled Sandwiches, mini cinnamon rolls were Honey Nests, mini croissants were Perch Treats, mini apple and cherry pies were called Songbird Pies, mini macarons were A Bird in the Hand, and chicken salad sandwiches were called Chicken Little Sandwiches. The only thing that was different was the berry cups, in which we played on Camden's middle name again and called them Berry "Hope"fuls.

Everyone had such a wonderful time and needless to say, Cam is a very, very spoiled girl. 

Again, please let me take this opportunity to thank everyone who worked so hard in making this baby shower a success and for those who made their way to attend and share in celebrating our little girl. We can't wait for her to get here and share her with everyone!

26 Weeks

Weeks: 26 . . . 6 1/2 months down, 99 days to go!

Weight Gain: still at +6 lbs. from pre-preggo weight!

This Week's Cravings: Aside from my usual cran-grape juice, popsicles, and chocolate croissants, there hasn't been anything new added to the list. Boring week, I know :-)

New Maternity / Baby Purchases: This week, we purchased her carseat (a Graco SnugRide 22). I'm not too hot on the designs and fabric they use, so I've been perusing for a custom cover to have made for her. Also, thanks to my mom, we have the lamp that we wanted added to the nursery, right next to the rocker. It was such a pleasant surprise to find the delivery at our doorstep on Thursday! We have also finally found and purchased a matching ottoman for the rocker. We need one more item, an area rug, before her nursery is complete! Another few additions to her wardrobe are a new pettiskirt and ruffle-bottom bloomers. My mom keeps telling me to slow down on purchasing clothes and shoes for her, but let's be real: when you know you're having a little girl, how do you stop yourself?!

Moment of the Week: On Easter Sunday, we arrived at the church for the 9:00 a.m. mass about 15 minutes early, but the entire Basilica was PACKED. I mean like standing room ONLY. Not even kidding, there must have been 1000 people there. We didn't mind and moved towards the front standing crowd and situated ourselves there, the whole time thanking God that I wore flats and a comfortable dress that day. A few minutes later, an usher came up to me and said, "I have a seat for you over here" and led us to a spot where he had asked a family to squish together more to make room for me and J to sit. Needless to say, J and I were so very grateful to have a place to sit, especially because the service was a little longer that day. Other than that, I think that at this point, each moment that J feels her moving, especially when it's a particularly BIG jolt or kick, is a moment we truly enjoy and one that makes us look forward more to meeting her. We laugh together a lot when J has to assemble yet another piece of furniture {this time, the ottoman -- thanks, Ikea.} and say that we have never, ever known a child more spoiled prior to her being born. 

This Week's Pregnancy Cheat: There is this AMAZING lemon beer from Austria that we get from Cafe Mozart, the place where we had our wedding reception. We have gotten to know the owners / chefs fairly well, and when we had dinner there on Aubrey & Finley's birthday, they sent us home with a bottle. The other night, J shared some of it with the neighbors and allowed me to have a sip. I had forgotten how delicious it was and savored every drop of that sip!

Things to Look Forward To: This week, I have another appointment with Dr. Moore. On the same day, I will be taking my much-anticipated glucose test, which, quite honestly, I'm not dreading too much. I don't want to be overconfident, but I feel that I've been really good with my sugar intake, especially during this pregnancy. I remember my mom had gestational diabetes when she was pregnant with my brother, Ryan, and I saw how much work it took for her. On the same evening, we will be doing our Maternity Hospital Tour. Supposedly, it's a 2 1/2 hour tour. Seriously?? How big do they think this maternity ward is?!?! Aside from that, we have already signed up for our Childbirth Preparation / Lamaze classes. We aren't scheduled to begin the five weekly sessions until May 9th, though {I'll be 30 weeks along by then!}.

Sleep Pattern: I've noticed that within these past two weeks, signs of discomfort have slowly started to set in. Standing for extended periods of time give me back and side pains, I now get much more easily wiped out, I am tired and sleepy all the time, and most apparent of all, I go to the restroom about 15-20 times a day and another 2-4 times per night. Certainly, it makes it difficult to wake myself up and after using the restroom, put myself back to sleep right away. I think this erratic sleeping pattern is what has made me revert to taking naps in the afternoon again. The thing with it, though, is that instead of letting ourselves get annoyed by any aches and pains and discomforts, we are just thankful that we have reached this point in the pregnancy. Each day that comes where Camden is safely nested in my belly is another day that she is growing, developing, and preparing for her life outside of the belly, so we are thankful for being able to be right where God leads us everyday.

Things I'm Really Missing: This iced tea craving is mutating. First I thought it was just iced tea, any iced tea, but now I specifically want some Sweet Tea from McDonald's and some Thai iced tea. I feel like if I were able to take a day off and not be afraid of the masses of caffeine loaded into those drinks, I could load up on gallons of each!

We have 2 1/2 months to go -- 99 more days until Camden's due date! We were so excited to see our countdown calendar actually down to the double digits! Thank you for sticking with us and praying with us through this journey. We know that come July, our prayers of thanks will be overflowing.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song. {Psalm 28:7}

Hope

Whether in daydreams or during night's sleep, I can often close my eyes {or even just stare off into space} and remember even the smallest details of that day. The room was cold, but I felt so hot, rustling my feet under the thin sheets provided to me. I can still feel the tightening and loosening of the leg pumps velcroed to me to prevent blood clots and assist in circulation. I had been in that bed, in the same tilted position for over 18 hours. To my right, past the IV drips hooked up to my arm, I see J in his gray hoodie, jeans, and black tennis shoes alternating between watching TV and looking at the monitors strapped onto what seemed like every open bit of skin I had. The sun was visible from time to time beyond the room's partially open blinds and the thick patches of clouds outside. It still felt bleak. To my left there are several monitors, all hooked up to various cords on my chest and stomach, their screens with bouncing dots and lines showing my heartbeat and those of the girls. Inside my belly, I can feel my daughters moving, and with each kick and turn and somersault, my heart both raced in so much love for the lives inside me and dropped from the knowledge that it wouldn't be long now until those movements ceased, and I would be left alone with an empty belly and staring into what would be flat lines on the monitor screens.

The only thing worse than the dread of what was to come was the actual time when it all happened. I never knew so much heartache and love could pour out of one person and do so simultaneously as when I held my girls and when I saw J whispering his goodbyes to them. Like I said before, it was the best and worst moments of our lives, all rolled up into these quiet and somber minutes inside this cold room, on this bleak day. 

Exactly a year ago today was the moment when everything and nothing made sense. There was no past or future and I could have sworn this could be the moment that was the most definitive one of my life. This moment could summarize my purpose, my story, and my future.

But such was not so. In moments like that, it is easy to forget that there is someone else who has a plan for us. One year later, I realized that that moment was not a culmination of my life; it was merely one that would be the biggest testimony I would have when my time comes. One year later, while it remains the most cathartic moment, it most certainly is not the sole definition of who I am as a person.

If anything, it strengthened both my relationship with J and our relationship with God. And if there's anything that is the most striking evidence for our faith, it's this: Today, I have another life growing inside me and we are looking forward to her introduction to this world this summer. 

J and I discussed that more than the nursery tour post {coming soon, as soon as the nursery is done}, this post would be the best way to reveal Baby B #3's name. 

We chose Hope for many obvious reasons. Her sisters' middle names are Faith and Grace, and especially after losing them, there was nothing that gave us a better outlook than telling each other that "Hope is on the way". For some reason, despite our tragedy, we always knew that Hope was just around the corner. We keep Faith and Grace in our hearts and God will bring us Hope. This was the cornerstone of our reinforced relationship with Him and He knows that it is what has kept us going.

Camden was a choice that we came across during our search for a name. We had discussed many names, but we wanted something unique, something that could hold a candle to her sisters' names, and something that we would be equally as proud of as we are of Aubrey and Finley. I came across Camden one day and suggested it to J. It took a while for the name to really grow on him, and I gave him the time and space to think about it. It was only right before he decided and approved that I looked up the meaning of the name. Camden is of English origin and it means "from the winding valley". It really sealed the deal with us because her name really reflects our journey: From the winding valley, there is HOPE. 

To commemorate Aubrey and Finley's birthday today, we put one of the final touches to Camden's room, one that brings her, her sisters, and us, their parents, together as a whole family. {I found it online a few months after losing Aubrey and Finley. It could not be any more perfect and I hung on to it knowing that it would be in the next baby's room.}

Whenever a big catastrophe in the world happens {i.e. the tsunami in Japan, the earthquake in Haiti, the damage of Hurricane Katrina in Louisiana}, you can almost always count on a "One Year Later" documentary or two. While incomparable to the mass destruction of those tragedies, this was our own personal catastrophe -- it rocked our world and reshaped our lives and outlooks. And now, one year later, we have slowly picked up the pieces of our shattered hearts and glued them together in preparation for Camden Hope to come.

Many people say that the culmination of their journey as humans is embodied in their children. I think it could be safe to speak for both J and me and say that Camden Hope is the culmination of our journey as a family. She is not the beginning, but is the road that leads from Faith and Grace and is the source of Hope. It really doesn't get any better than that, and I know that no matter what happens, I can close my eyes {or stare off into space} and those dark and bleak days I see will break into new and sunnier days.

23 Weeks: Milestones Every Week

Weeks: 23 . . . one more week until we're 6 months along!

Weight Gain: Still +5 lbs. from pre-baby weight

This Week's Cravings: Still stuck on croissants. Today, I actually didn't get a croissant and boy, have I been thrown off all day! Also, towards the end of last week, I dreamt one night of an Oreo cream pie. Seriously. I had a DREAM about it. I dreamt it in so much detail that I woke up salivating for it. I ignored it the whole entire next day, but the craving got the best of me, and I found myself at CVS at 11:40 p.m. buying Oreos. It wasn't necessarily just Oreos that I was craving; it was something with Oreo crust. I wanted cold and creamy and the Oreo crust. For now, Oreos and vanilla ice cream are holding me over, but I have to be honest, I don't know how much longer it will. I may actually have to go out and get or make an Oreo cream pie.

New Maternity / Baby Purchases: As expected, the pesky delivery service I mentioned in last week's post did a similar mishap with Baby B's bookshelf. This time, they didn't update their website correctly, and from what I saw {and the phone calls I made}, the bookshelf arrived in Los Angeles on Thursday afternoon, but was not actually delivered until this afternoon {Monday}. For people who are very much on top of the boudoir building, you can imagine how irritating this is to us. Still, I am happy to report that it is now standing proudly in Baby's room. We also bought a side table the other day, and today, we ordered her monogram, which should arrive in a week or so. Also, last week, Baby Gap released their exclusive line designed by Diane von Furstenburg and needless to say, I was there on the first day to make sure that my daughter got her first taste of DVF.

On top of that, her Daddy couldn't help himself and bought ANOTHER pair of TOMS for her. This baby is starting off with more shoes than she has clothes! {Well, that's not entirely true. She has a lot of clothes already}

On top of all that, on Saturday, I received a text message from my dear friend Kacey of Lowdown on the Lowreys, letting me know that Toys R Us / Babies R Us was having a big sale on Pampers diapers that day. If you buy two boxes, you get $25 off the purchase {so you come out with two boxes for the price of one}. Needless to say, J and I rushed off to Babies R Us and purchased some newborn and Size 1 diapers. Of course, that trip was not without grabbing a few clothing items for her {and I swear, I wasn't the only one grabbing clothes off the racks!}.

Moment of the Week: On Monday evening, J and I were laying on the couch together watching The Voice {LOVE that show. Like her mommy, this little one seems to also be taking a big liking to Adam Levine and Blake Shelton. She goes crazy whenever Blake Shelton's songs come on my iTunes playlists}. J had his hand on my belly when Baby B let out a big KICK!! We just looked at each other and giggled! Then, as if to make sure we knew it was her kicking, a few moments later, she did BIG follow up KICK! It was the first time her Daddy felt her kick. {All this time, only I could feel her movements} Since then, we'd made it a point for J to talk to the belly closer and wait for movements every night, and sure enough, Baby never disappoints. She is a Daddy's girl already.

This Week's Pregnancy Cheat: I wasn't going to say anything, but last Monday evening {a couple of hours prior to the kick event}, J's cousin, Ashley, came over for dinner {I made pan seared chicken, broccoli, and homemade macaroni and cheese, if you were wondering...} and I had a sip of wine. I gotta say, as much as it was my favorite white wine {a Pinot Gris from Paso Robles called Two Birds and a Sheep} and it really was so delicious, I had a hard time even enjoying the sips. I was so paranoid of hurting the baby that I flushed it down with lots of water and cran-grape juice.

Things to Look Forward To: I have my Pre-Term Birth Prevention class this week, and I'm really looking forward to having my mom and brother come for a couple of days. They haven't seen the nursery in person yet {just via FaceTime}. Another event this week, although it's not necessarily a point of real excitement, is Aubrey & Finley's birthday on Thursday. Can you believe it's been a year since we had and lost our little girls? We can't. We are still trying to figure out how to commemorate that day. Do we celebrate? Are we somber? All I know is that we will be laying low that day and thinking of our missed little angels.

Sleep Pattern: I was really thrown off on Friday evening when I went to bed at 9:00 p.m. and woke up at 10:00 p.m. with really horrible heartburn and indigestion. I was awake until about 12:40 a.m. when I finally woke J up and asked him to come with me to CVS to get some Tums {which we checked about 6 times if it was pregnancy safe or not}. All weekend since, my sleep has been thrown off and I'd been sleeping in until past 10:00 a.m. everyday. Eck.

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23 weeks! Where has the time gone?! Each time I look at my What To Expect iPhone App and see that there are now less weeks to wait versus weeks that have passed, I still can't believe it. We are so close! It's hard not to be scared and anxious, and I think my next sigh of relief will be until at least 28 weeks when viability even with preterm labor goes up to 90%. Other than that, we hold our breaths and our hands will continue to be locked in prayer and in hopes that our little one will arrive safely come July.

20 Weeks: Halfway There!

Read about yesterday's gender reveal!

Weeks: 20

Weight Gain: +4 lbs. from pre-baby weight

This Week's Cravings: Still stuck on soy iced chai from Coffee Bean. Also, I've had this unfulfilled cheese craving. I'm talking REAL, good cheese. Perhaps a visit to The Cheese Store in Beverly Hills is in the cards this week . . .

New Maternity / Baby Purchases: We finally ordered Baby's crib the other day. We already have her changing table {bought it about about a month ago}. Also, after we found out her gender yesterday, Daddy made a pit stop at Nordstrom on his way home from work {in the rain! -- how's THAT for dedication!} to buy another pair of Toms for Baby B! Our little girl is starting out with a whopping four pairs of Toms before she's even born!

Additionally, we were finally able to finish our baby registry. Prior to finding out the baby's gender, we could only register for so many things, as we really didn't want to pick out anything particularly gender neutral. And through the magic of the internet, the old dilemma of wanting / needing things from so many stores has been solved through MyRegistry.com. If you wanna check out our registry {and help us knock out a few items from the list -- hint, hint!}, click on THIS LINK. Search for Angela Bench and that should lead you to our list!

This Week's Pregnancy Cheat: Took a few sips of Coke the other day. Oh and yikes, had two oysters when we were in Las Vegas last week. It was sublime!

Things to Look Forward To: Another appointment with Dr. Moore next Wednesday {March 7th}. Yes, I really look forward to my doctor's appointments. Keeping a close eye on the baby keeps my neurotic self on check and at ease.

Tired / Sick / Sleepy?: Mostly tired. I make it a point to get up before 10:00 a.m. everyday {otherwise, I feel like my day is wasted}, but it's been a little bit of a struggle. On Saturday, J woke me up at 10:30 a.m. Eck. Hate that feeling.

I should also mention the following things:

• My normally very "innie" belly button is now making its way into becoming an "outie". So very trippy. Just had to mention.
• J laughed when I told him Baby B was kicking A LOT when I was in Nordstrom and Target today. I think he is secretly afraid that this little girl is getting trained so early in her shopping. 
• I'm currently in the middle of reading a book called Bringing Up Bebe on my Nook. I read about it in People Magazine about 4 weeks ago and downloaded it right away. The author is an American mother living in Paris, discovering the secret to how the French raise happy, healthy, cooperative, well-behaved, and patient children. I'm only a few chapters in so far, but I cannot recommend this book enough. I will try to put up a full review once I'm done with it, but suffice it to say, both J and I plan on implementing much of the French framework of raising babies once Baby B is born. 

We are so incredibly happy to be expecting our baby girl. Many have asked if we have picked a name, and the answer is yes. You'll have to stay tuned for the official announcement :-)

Thank you again to everyone who has showered us with prayers and love. We so can't wait to share our baby girl with you!

19 Weeks!!

One more week to the halfway mark!

Weight gain: No, I haven't weighed myself. I actually look away when they weigh me at the doctor's office. Fine, I'll start doing it.

This week's cravings: Soy iced chai from Coffee Bean, Nestle Dibs (I swear, I had like 30 pieces in one sitting), and turkey sandwiches with provolone or swiss, lettuce, and lots of mayo and mustard

New maternity or baby purchases: Nothing for the baby this week, but I finally found some decent skinny maternity jeans! Hooray!

Things to look forward to: Going to Las Vegas this week for four days for J's work convention. So excited for free 5-star restaurant meals! After we get back, I have my 20 week appointment and then on Monday (the 27th) we will find out the baby's gender! (J would not agree to do it sooner than 20 weeks!)

This week's pregnancy cheat: Had a couple of sips of Thai iced tea during dinner on Friday. 

Tired / sick / sleepy? Generally just tired, but this pregnancy has been fairly manageable with the sickness part. Been trying to avoid naps so that I don't throw my sleeping pattern too much at night, as I hate waking up later than 9:00 a.m.

Can't wait until we can reveal the baby's gender next week! Stay tuned!

I Spy: Early Preparations for Baby #3

There's a part of me that's really scared to do this.

Last time, in the weeks before the 20 week mark, we had done so much preparation for our girls -- cribs were ordered and delivered, mattresses purchased and waiting, room paint color was picked out and purchased, painter was scheduled to come, crib linens and so much clothes stockpiled, and J even had a pink custom chandelier made for them.

Of course, once we had our 20 week ultrasound, everything changed.

So needless to say, I'm pretty leery about getting too ahead of ourselves. Granted we have taken so many necessary precautions (quitting my job and staying home to rest and focus on the pregnancy and of course the cervical cerclage), but I can't help but be anxious for the next few weeks to come.

We have had many benchmarks (no pun intended) that we had looked forward to during this pregnancy, times when we would breathe out a little sigh of relief as we get closer to our due date: the 12- and 14-week marks, the cerclage, and coming up, the 20 week mark (for obvious reasons). 

Try as we may, both J and I cannot help but feel the excitement in the preparations for Baby #3. It's difficult not to be excited, but every so often, we catch ourselves, take a deep breath, and a step back. Not too fast, we tell ourselves. Still, how can we help it? It is a lot of fun, however, to see little signs around the house of a sweet little pea who will be (God-willing) joining us in about 5 more months.

I spy with my little eye . . .

Daddy reading material on J's nightstand. Nothing beats the sweetness of a man who prepares (and even snags a parenting magazine from the doctor's office).

The start of a stockpile of baby wipes (they were on sale at Costco!). Soon we will be piling up on diapers!

Paint swatches on the nursery wall. These have been there since the last pregnancy, but thank goodness, we picked a gender neutral color (Cloud 9 Gray). We will know what accessories to purchase for this backdrop within the next 4 weeks. (J does not want to find out the baby's gender until at least 20 weeks. I think it's partially because he's afraid I'm going to blow our savings on shopping, but it's largely because he doesn't want it too early where a mistake could be made. He doesn't want an educated guess; he wants a definite answer. So, we wait. [and the man won't budge!]).

Congratulatory cards, stretch mark lotion, and some of the latest ultrasound pictures on my nightstand. 

The omnipresent monstrosity of my back-and-belly pregnancy pillow. J calls it my life raft, because climbing into it every night is like climbing into an inflatable boat. He bought it for me during my last pregnancy, and I swear by it. It helps me sleep more comfortably, especially with my widening (and now more painful) hips and the weight I'm carrying. I'm sure I'll be thanking it (and J) more as this pregnancy progresses and I get bigger.

I spy this growing belly everyday, and although I absolutely ABHOR bathroom mirror self portraits, this was the only way to get this done. Here is the growing tire.

I'm so thankful for all the excitement that everyone has shared with us. More to come!

Stitched Up

It is nearing 1:00 a.m. and I have just finally taking my nightly shower. Normally, I do this around 7:00 to 9:00 p.m., but this evening is an exception. 


We just got home from the hospital following my cervical cerclage surgery. As a background for any new readers / followers / visitors:
During my last pregnancy, I lost the girls due to cervical incompetency. This means that my cervix effaced {thinned out, as it does right before delivery} and dilated early, in this case, at 20 weeks of gestation.
What happened during my last pregnancy is not unheard of, although it could not have been predicted, and therefore could not have been prevented. At the same time, my cervix is not "damaged" by any means. Even without a cerclage this time, I could have very well gone through the pregnancy without a hitch; however, to take the safer route, our doctors recommended the cerclage.
A cervical cerclage is a stitch that is placed in the cervix as a reinforcing precaution to avoid what happened last time. If the cervix is like a tube, think of it as a purse string that cinches the cervix shut. This procedure is normally done at about 14 weeks of pregnancy {as to avoid complications earlier on that may lead to miscarriage} and removed at about 36 weeks of pregnancy. 

{via}

Today was full of sacrifice in preparation for the procedure. As normal protocol dictates, I was instructed to fast for 8 hours prior to surgery -- no food or drink at all. Surgery was scheduled for 6:00 p.m., but I was told to check in at 4:00 p.m., so I was to fast from 8:00 a.m. on. As you may imagine, it wasn't pretty. You just don't starve a pregnant woman. Still, I managed to survive the day of fasting by keeping myself busy enough until it was time to drive to the hospital. {Note: My mom gave me the best advice. To fight the thirst, I gargled water. Simple solution and it worked!!} 

Not long after checking in, I was called by one of the nurses to get ready for pre-op. After changing into my very attractive paper and plastic hospital gown {why paper and plastic? I'll explain later} and getting me hooked up to an IV, it wasn't long until the nurses allowed J to come in and keep me company. Every several minutes, a nurse would check on me, and soon, the anesthesiologist came to explain his part of the procedure. I was told that since I am pregnant, it would be best to just do a spinal anesthetic, administered much like an epidural, as opposed to sedation. The spinal anesthetic would numb my lower half, but I would be awake during the procedure. This type of anesthetic is safest for the baby, having very minimal, if any, effect.

It seemed like a very long time before Dr. Moore, my OB-GYN, came in to touch base with us. It seemed weird to see Dr. Moore in scrubs, as I normally see him in his office, with chinos and a polo shirt with his lab coat on. About 20 minutes after Dr. Moore saw us, J kissed me good luck as they wheeled me into the operating room.

The OR was as cold as I expected, especially in my thin, disposable garb. Not wasting any time, the anesthesiologist and the anesthesiologist nurse began the spinal anesthesia procedure. Like an epidural, I was hunched over, clutching a pillow, held on my shoulders for support by the nurse. I felt the wasp bite-like sting of the local anesthetic and the burn of the medicine going in. Then, the second poke was the anesthesia itself, which I did not feel at all. As with all procedures that involve needles, only the anticipation was the worst part. After numbing, I was laid down on the operating table. The nurses were so kind and gentle with me, as they set up all the wires, the IV line, my oxygen mask, and provided me several blankets straight from the warmer. Also, they hooked up what looked like vacuum tubes to my hospital gown, and the tubes blew warm air in and throughout my gown, and kept me warm during the 30 minute procedure. Not two minutes after the anesthesia was administered, my legs began to tingle, and about 3 1/2 minutes into it, they felt completely numb, so much so that when they put my legs onto the stirrups, it felt like they were putting logs up. 

The surgery came and went like lightning. It took only some small talk between me and the nurses and suddenly, I heard Dr. Moore thank the staff for a "grand" job. He came over to me and said the procedure went beautifully, and that they would take me to recovery soon. A few moments later, four nurses helped each other toss and turn my limp body over, removing lines and wires before transferring me to the gurney and wheeling me into post-op recovery.

I'd been to the post-op recovery before when J had surgery after breaking his leg in 2009. I was not in there long, chatting it up with the nurses, when J was called in and soon, he was there to keep me company. It was 7:30 p.m.

My post-op instructions were to just wait until the anesthesia wore off and for me to be able to go potty. At this point, I was absolutely beyond starving. What feeling I could get on my lower half was only that of sheer hunger. Thank goodness one of the nurses brought me one of the pre-made meals they had -- and hospital food as it may had been, I gratefully accepted and I ate the ham and cheese sandwich and Lorna Doone cookies heartily. {It came with carrot sticks and I don't eat raw carrots, so I gave them to J, who gladly ate them too} The nurse gave us an extra meal and a few extra juice boxes too. I finished my entire sandwich, a package of cookies, the meat and cheese from the other sandwich, and two juice boxes in about 20 minutes. I was like a starved child from a third world country. 

After all the hoopla of getting settled into post-op seemed like eons. I knew it wasn't a good sign when they exchanged J's waiting chair with a recliner. The nurse informed us that from experience, he's seen the effects of spinal anesthesia take HOURS to wear off. Every few minutes, I would try my hardest to move my legs {the right side seemed to cooperate more than the left} and once those started working, I began to concentrate on the finer motor skills -- moving my toes. Later into the evening, they provided me with a bed pan, in the event that I needed to go potty. I tried four times with that darned bedpan, all to no avail. 

Hours later, with no luck on either going potty or even getting any sleep to pass time, one of the nurses agreed to have me try to walk to the bathroom to see if maybe actually sitting down would help. Despite having moved my legs and toes for several hours already at this point, my legs almost gave out when I stood up. The feeling is like when your legs are asleep... but times 10 -- not so much tingly as it was completely just numb. The nurse joked and asked if I was feeling like I was walking drunk {having two nurses' support holding me up, and having another push a wheelchair behind me just in case}, and I jokingly told them that it had been a while since I had actually gotten drunk, but I imagine it was this way when I was. When I reached the potty, I sat on it for 15 minutes waiting and trying to push, but I got nothing. 

When I told the nurses this, they decided to do a bladder ultrasound on me, to see how full my bladder was. True enough, they found that the amount was 309 {I don't know what unit of measurement that is, but from what I was told, once your bladder reaches about 110, the bladder tells the brain that you need to go potty. Clearly, this was beyond that measurement and I was ready; it's just that my bottom half was too numb to actually realize that it was, in fact, time to go pee}. I was then advised to go ahead and try to walk around the post-op area in order to try to utilize the effects of gravity on my bladder. J was even kind enough to walk with me. After about 7 laps, I tried again and nothing. At this point, I sat at the edge of my bed and spent a few minutes chatting with J and the nurses for a while before starting over. Sure enough, after about 6 more laps and what feels like generations later, I tried again. I could still feel very little, but with enough concentration, I heard the magic pittle of liquid into the pot. I felt like a toddler, celebrating my first wobbly steps earlier, and now celebrating my going to go pee pee on the potty. 

It took all that I had not to sprint over to Mary, one of the last two nurses left on duty, to tell her that I went potty. With J having gone to the car to charge his phone {he was on call for work}, Mary told me that I could get dressed, and as soon as we got our discharge instructions from Dr. Moore, I would be able to go home. 

Another 20 minutes later, I was dressed, my PIC line was removed, and Mary was wheeling me out into the frigid weather outside and helped me into our car. What a relief. I told J that I imagine this is what it feels like to be released from prison. It was 12:00 midnight.

Now we go through the rest of the pregnancy with bi-weekly checkups with Dr. Moore, so that we can closely monitor the baby's and my progress. Now I am back to being able to eat and most importantly, I am glad to be back in my own bed as I am beyond ready to go to bed.

Thank you to everyone who sent text messages, Facebook posts, and Tweets. All our love always...

We Wait

My almost-16-year-old brother {B&B's #1 fan} asked me two weeks ago, "How come you don't blog as much anymore?"


I looked at him bewildered. I had no answer. At least not a legitimate one. How do you explain {let alone justify} sheer laziness, or explain to him that you're starting to fear that you're starting to think you're a narcoleptic? I find it difficult to give reasoning or rationale to the fact that despite being what J calls "retired" from work now, I feel that I've been even busier {and in effect more exhausted} than when I was actually working a 9-5 job. 


For what it's worth, I did not want to plague my blog with mindless whining and incoherent thoughts. Quite honestly, things have been quiet in our home. The holidays, spent quietly with J, my stepson, my brother, and mom, came and went without event. {Although notably, I did receive a Silhouette Cameo, an item that had long been on my list of wants, for Christmas.} Weeks 11 and 12 of pregnancy occurred with no hiccups or even ridiculous cravings {if you ask J about the ridiculous cravings, however, he may actually give you a slightly different answer}. I have been busy with a laundry list of to-do's that I have had on my mind for over a year now -- things to organize, closets to clean out, rooms to prepare for the baby. Chores are at the top of my list and they take up so much of my time {outside of my duly appointed afternoon naps, of course}, but I figure, this is the price that we pay for wanting clean homes. Yes, it's tedious, and no, I should have never let it go this far, but whining about it doesn't do anything; I knew that action needed to be done in order to just get these items crossed off my mental lists. [Note: my house is not dirty. In fact, it's fairly clean. Post Christmas clutter, however, is a totally different issue.]


This past week, we visited Dr. Moore, who reported that Baby #3 is doing well and he scheduled my cerclage for January 17th. After the cerclage, we will be having ultrasounds every week to closely monitor my cervix, in hopes of deterring what happened last time from happening again.


For now, we sit and wait. At every visit, we have been ensuring ourselves pictures of Baby #3 {even if, at this early stage, he / she still looks like a glob of Jello} and we wait, knowing that we are still at the dawn of a year of promise and many more good things to come.