Inside My Busy Little Brain

Originally posted on my Tumblr Blog on Oct 18th, 2010 11:25pm

I am trying to ever-so-patiently count the days until this Thursday’s Lupron lesson appointment. The “trying” part is not so bad; it’s the patience part that’s not so easy, especially for someone as antsy as I am.

 After getting phone calls and clarifications from Friday evening up until this morning, we finally received confirmations that all my meds and fertility drugs will be arriving via FedEx tomorrow. I had them delivered to my office so that not only can I sign for them and verify receipt, but also so that I could physically have my hands on the over $2000 investment we just made.

 Funny side note: My bank almost did not approve the purchases. I received two phone calls from my bank (I almost never answer phone calls from unknown numbers) wanting to verify that I did, in fact, make these large purchases. Oddly timed, I also ordered my driver’s license renewal last night online. So when I finally called the automated line this evening, I had to verify (*in robot voice* — note the pauses between each word) “a. purchase. for. [$ xxxx.] at. a. pharmacy……. a. puchase. for. [$ xxxx.] at. a. pharmacy….. a. purchase. for. thirty. one. dollars. at. a. government. agency.” I guess in these situations, it’s best to just find humor in the mundane.

 On another note, I am beginning to think that these birth control pills (i.e. the roller coaster of hormones) are starting to affect me. I have noticed myself in a cold sweat at times, and other times, I feel as if I am getting hot flashes (a symptom I’m not really expecting until we start using Lupron and the cocktails of estrogen and progesterone that we will be injecting). More obviously to me, I am breaking out like it’s nobody’s business. Disgustingly, I have developed an astonishing amount of jawline breakouts in the past two weeks. At first, I thought it was my foundation, and I was going to get angry — when you spend almost $50 for one tiny bottle of Nars foundation, and they tell you it’s because it is all natural and non-comedogenic, you expect good results. So two weeks ago, I stopped using liquid foundation and went back to my trusty Laura Mercier mineral powder. In this situation, even Laura let me down. I just can’t seem to win.

I keep reminding myself that breakouts are a small price to pay for getting the thing we wish for the most.

Tomorrow, I will anxiously await the arrival of the FedEx guy at my office. Who am I kidding — I’m anxiously awaiting him NOW. Here I am, laying in bed, and I am afraid that the FedEx guy is going to somehow want to deliver to my office in the middle of the night and I would miss it. Perhaps I am going crazier than I gave myself credit for. Sleep, Angela, sleep. 

In the meantime, can someone please remind my skin that I am no longer sixteen years old and had stopped breaking out for years prior to this time?